Our so called "Fathers"

 

A Fathers’ presence in a child’s life really plays a vital role. It contributes to the Childs mental, intellectual and psychological wellbeing. In most cases we don’t want you to send us money, or buy us things but of course as you should, it’s expected of you to support your children financially. Well sending us money or buying us stuffs isn’t enough. We want to know you, we want to feel your hugs, we want you to guide us and advise us, we want you to witness our good and bad days, we want to experience life with you, we want you to be there on our big days (graduation, drivers licence test day and other achievements), we want you to be available, we want you to be reliable and consistently present in our life… Is this really hard??? Are we asking for too much?

I knew I have lost my one True Father when I lost my grandfather. May your soul Rest in internal peace and thank you for always watching over me, Grandpa…He was quite a hard man but he has been there for me, emotionally, physically and financially without any excuse. Cause honestly if you are the parent and I’m the kid and you always making up excuses, now who is supposed to take care of me????

Well at this point I have made peace with it. I have lived 24years without having a consistent father and guess what ,here I’m doing fine maybe not perfectly fine, but I’m good,, I’ve always wanted, in fact I was desperate to get to experience the feeling of actually having a consistent father but I’m done forcing things ‘Mukwetu’… Can’t just stay at one thing every year, we gotta let go and move on….

I would love to address a few things though, and hope one or two people gets the concepts and chose to be better people in life.

Even though some fathers are absent in their kids’ lives, they are financially reliable. Then there are those fathers who are not supportive in anyway (physically absent and not financially supportive).. Now for my father its different, he has made it clear that he has a whole bunch of top priories including my younger sister, his wife’s kid and my brother and I come last… I’m not gone lie there are times where he really tries and makes some efforts, but I feel like he should be consistent just like my mom. My mom would never sit back and relax if she doesn’t get it right today she will push-and-push until she gets it right cause if not her who is gone take care of us huh. It’s like my Father expects my mom to be doing everything for us and he would only turn up when he feels like it or when he once in a year drink hot chocolate, or I don’t know how he does it or how he decides to try to be a father or just go MIA. Cause one second he is there the next it’s just excuses after excuses… Okay yes your car broke down, your water bill was high, or you had some business to attend, so what????? Is life supposed to pause because you bought new tires for your car???

For all the 24years on earth, I have never heard my mom complain to me that no, I can’t buy you that textbook, or give you money for cosmetics cause I have other things to do or cause her water bill is high, because along with all her other expenses or responsibilities, I am also her responsibility and there was never a day that she ran away from that. She would always find a way to attend to all her responsibilities…  Also she would never say I can’t or I don’t have. Maybe she would say at the moment things are tight, but she will try tomorrow and the day after tomorrow until she gets things right..

Apparently men can’t send money every month to their kids, Why not??? Mothers are spending money on their kids every month actually every single day. So what determines who gets to spend money on kids? What makes ya’ll men think this is right??

I feel it’s honestly very unfair for a man to spout his cells in a woman while smiling and seeing heaven only to go MIA on the mother and the child. The woman carries the baby for 9months along with the morning sickness; backaches, sleepless nights; headaches and body change, then she goes through labour pain or C-section, she breastfeeds the baby, has sleepless nights changing baby diapers and feeding the baby, Yet men have the audacity to actually leave it all to the mother… Yaaah neeeh, she continues taking care of the baby making sure he/she has something to eat, clothes to wear, wakes up early to prepare the kid for school, looks after the kid when he/she isn’t doing so well health wise. What do you actually do as a father, where are you, how do you sleep at night, to which God do you Pray to?????

Children are so innocent in all this. If the mother left you heartbroken, that doesn’t give you the right to abandon your kid; if the mother refuses to give you full custody, it still doesn’t give you the right to abandon the kid. Most men want full custody of their kids because they have a better income and can maintain the kids needs without having to ask help from the mother and most mothers rejects this proposal therefore the fathers then decide that they’re not gone support the kid or even try to see the kid, now because of the mothers poor decisions you as fathers go ahead and make even worse decisions by intentionally abandoning your kids. Now the poor kids have to suffer because ya’ll have issues…

Dear mom, like any other parent you could have chosen not to care or just have a blind eye but you chose to face your everyday responsibilities. You are strong, kind, loving, hopeful and caring, I love and appreciate you so so so much also I’m very proud of you, you have done a great Job raising me, and you’re doing well there with my siblings’ as well….  Mukuru karara mundu uandje, better days are coming, it’s all on God’s timing.

Thank you for being everything that I ever needed, for being everything I couldn’t be or couldn’t have…. With my every inch together with God’s grace and will, I’m gone make you Proud. You deserve all the good things in life, you deserve to be happy and have a chilled life too… well your seven years are around the corner my love, hang in there.

Let’s raise our sons to be good individuals and good fathers. Ladies, lets be picky with who we make fathers.

Children deserve better

Cheers to the good fathers out there, ya’ll are angels

Disclaimer: I know there are genuine fathers out there who have been not only supportive but also present in their kids life’s since day one regardless of the fact that they are no longer with the mother,  also I know there are unsupportive and absent mothers. Well this feed is based on my feeling, experiences and opinions therefore it is directed to the not so good Fathers, if you have different experiences and opinions maybe about good fathers or bad mothers, please share them in the comment section